A New Me?

I've moved and have a new job within my company.

I'm still on the fence of being "happy".

I feel fulfilled and can do just about everything I can imagine within my company. I can access all the data need I for my job, and collect all necessary data needed for the company and provide support to those who need help accessing data. For some reason I feel like I'm missing something in my life.

I have tried the dating sites a few times; each time I'm met with a disappointing realization that anyone my age has no idea what I'm talking about, or they are significantly older. Both leaving me very unfulfilled and depressed.

Now I'm at a point when the only moment when I feel "I get it" is when I'm tight as a boiled owl. And I get it to a sense, I'm out of my gourd. I'll regret it tomorrow, but I get it now.

But for now all I can do is drink to the individual who I cared for, who has passed away as of this past Thursday, and all those who I cared for. I'm sorry I could have done more for you.